Master The Art Of Mindset With These Tips
December 6, 2018

Every Filipino dreamt of having their own business and quit their 9-5 jobs. We have a family-centric culture, family above all. And within these odds, we fail to understand the true potential of mindset. Since then the majority of us prefer to do the everyday grind instead of pursuing one’s dream or passion. They are too afraid to fail so they didn’t even bother to give it a shot.

Let me share a story that every one of us can relate too and maybe it will serve as a way to be an eye-opener for us.

The story of two monggo seeds.

Two seeds lay side by side in the fertile soil.

The first seed said, “I want to grow! I want to send my roots deep into the soil beneath me, and thrust my sprouts through the earth’s crust above me.

I want to unfurl my tender buds like banners to announce the arrival of spring.

I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the blessing of the morning dew on my petals!”

And so she grew…

On the other hand, the second seed said, “Hmmm… If I send my roots into the ground below, I don’t know what I will encounter in the dark.

If I push my way through the hard soil above me I may damage my delicate sprouts, what if I let my buds open and a snail tries to eat them?

And if I were to open my blossoms, a small child may pull me from the ground.

No, it is much better for me to wait until it is safe.”

And so she waited…

Then, one day…

A yard hen scratching around in the early spring ground for food found the waiting seed and promptly ate it.

What is the moral of the story?

Those who dream big and think positively will grow and prosper. Those who think negatively and refuse to risk will get swallowed up by life.

If you believe that you can’t get out of your current situation or circumstance in life, you subconsciously work to make it happen in your life. But if you firmly believe that something good will happen, let’s say, a better life for you or a success in your chosen career then you can make that a reality, too.

Here are some tips in overcoming the wrong mindset:


Accept That Problems are Inevitable

Most of us react negatively to problems when they take us by surprise. You’re on your way to work on a route you always take, and you get a flat tire; this event is completely unexpected, and can make you feel like the day is ruined. However, your work commute almost always has some kind of problem in it–they’re usually just so small you don’t notice. For example, there might be extra traffic, you might have forgotten something at home, or you might not have enough of a charge on your mobile device to listen to music. Even a rogue red light can interfere with your commute.

Problems are a given-only the intensity of the problems are a variable. If you can learn to accept problems as a normal, regular, and completely unavoidable part of life, you’ll have taken your first step toward handling them with more grace and objective understanding.

Steel Yourself to First Impressions

Our first impressions often define our reactions to new situations, so in order to start seeing problems as opportunities, you have to avoid making first impressions altogether (which is easier said than done). Let’s take the flat tire incident in the above section; your first impression might be “I’m going to be late” or “This is going to be a pain” or “This is going to cost me money I haven’t budgeted.” These first impressions immediately illustrate the problem in a negative light, rather than what it is–a neutral situation. Prevent yourself from forming these immediate thoughts by simply thinking of the problem itself: “I have a flat tire.”

Practice this on small-scale problems, like spilling a drink, and work your way up. It’s our instinct to form first impressions, especially in urgent or problematic situations, so you’ll be fighting against nature on this one.

Distance Yourself from the Problem

Once that initial reaction stage has passed, you can focus on distancing yourself from the problem. We often have a highly self-centered view on the world, leading us to think of all the bad ways a problem could affect us. But if you think of the problem as a separate entity, unrelated to you, you’ll do a better job of tempering your emotions and thinking about the problem objectively. One helpful strategy to do this is to describe the problem as if it were happening to a friend: “Bob has a flat tire. He needs to pull off to the side of the road and either put on a spare or call a towing company.” This helps you avoid the ego-centric emotional reactions that typically arise.


Take 100% responsibility for your life

Event plus response equals Outcome (E+R=O). We may have the same even, having a flat tire, but our responses will be different, One response is to pull of the road and change tires, another is to call a towing company and one can even swear and get mad. Thus, the Outcome will differently be different.

Learn to Objectively Evaluate the Threats and Consequences

Your next step is to isolate the real threats and consequences of a problem from your exaggerated or imaginary ones. Doing so will help you shift your focus from seeing the problem as a burden or as a destructive force to seeing the problem as a neutral force that allows you to take action. Whenever you face a problem, make a physical or mental list of all the significant negative consequences it will have. Solidifying a comprehensive list will typically illustrate that your problem is not as destructive as it seemed on the surface; our brains are wired to imagine worst-case scenarios and exaggerate potential threats so we can over-prepare rather than under-prepare. In the modern world, this evolutionary programming is less helpful.

I always say the problem sometime is what you make of it. Always be prepared to think of possible solutions and apply critical and creative thinking. Let’s not think of the end of the world and say, “woo is me…” There is always a solution.


Ignore Reactions, Focus on Improvements

Finally, you’ll need to train your brain to think of your response to a given problem as an improvement, rather than a blind reaction. For example, in the flat tire incident, it’s easy to think “I have a flat tire. Now I have to fix it.” This is a direct reaction to the situation. Instead, try to think of current and future improvements:

“I have a flat tire. This will give me a chance to use my spare.”

“I have a flat tire. I should buy tire sealant to have on hand in case this happens again.”

Over time, you’ll gradually start seeing problems in terms of the potential improvements they illustrate, rather in terms of the actions they demand of you. Again, as with any mental shift, start out with small scenarios and gradually work your way up to larger ones.

Dreams are just dreamed until we make an effort to make it a reality. Whatever you do, the career path you take or the passion that you wanted to pursue. Always remember that you have to:

1. Believe It

Firmly hold unto it, because there are a lot of challenges will come in your way. It will not be an easy fight and never will be.

2. Take actions daily

Let’s say you want to be a web developer, you have to take action in learning different web technologies and apply the learned skill by building your own portfolio. In this simple way, you can make a daily progress rather than just daydreaming and wishing for things to go just fine.

3. Timeframe

Always make sure that in every goal and everything that you do. It should be time-bounded, it’s because if you don’t have one it will take you forever for you to reach that goal or by just finish one task.

4. Dream bigger

There’s no dream that can’t be fulfilled as long as you are well disciplined and consistently doing the things that I have mentioned in this post. The most important thing, always make sure to pray that God would help you in everything that you do. It is a fact that without Him we are nothing. And believe you can do it.

5. Ignore the naysayers

I don’t have to elaborate on why you should avoid this kind of people. But let me share a simple analogy, one rotten apple can spoil the whole barrel. Because one bad, overripe or moldy apple really can cause all the other apples around it to spoil. In life, the same thing applies. If you take 100% responsibility for your life, take control of our response. Avoid the negative and believe in yourself.

6. Share your dream

Share your dream so that others can succeed too and you will be a blessing to them. The more you share your dreams with others, others can be able to help you achieve your dreams as well.


In Conclusion

How many of us go through life holding onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us refuse to attempt something new and challenging because of our so called MINDSET? Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt. And remember, a setback is a step to a greater comeback.

Comment down below and share your struggles or questions in mind. I would be glad to help.


Written by Penny Bongato
Penny Bongato is the author of the book Ask for a Bigger Blanket and Career Shift, Follow Your Passion. She is also the first Filipino Certified Canfield Success Principles Trainer and a Certified Canfield Methodology Trainer. She has trained more than 50,000 Filipinos on the success principles. She has also moderated several workshops and panel discussions.

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